Hi there! I hope everyone had a great weekend! I took a day off yesterday since I have a lot of vacation to burn. So I have a question for everyone. Do you have any high maintenance friends? I have had a few in my lifetime and I find that I don't have the patience or energy to put up with them anymore. I consider myself a pretty good friend, but when your friends start to drain all the positive energy out of you something has to be wrong, right? As an example, I had a friend that would call me only when she had problems, and would always ask for my advice. She had such a low esteem of herself and I kept trying to tell her that she's not ugly, not fat (she's pretty skinny), not stupid, etc. After a while, I honestly had no energy for her. I know it sounds mean, but that's the truth. I felt like she was changing me...like her negative energy was rubbing off on me. Am I the only one that has ever felt this way? Finally, I had the guts to tell her how I felt. She accepted it and we haven't talked for about 9 months. One day out of the blue, she calls me up and says that she's a different person and she no longer has all the drama in her life anymore and she would like to hang out again. I thought about it and I wouldn't mind it. I mean when she wasn't in one of her moods, she really was a fun person to be around.
While we're on the subject of friends, I have another question. Do you think that friends should always forgive each other? I had a friend that really screwed me when I was in a time in my life when I didn't have a lot of money. Not like I have a lot of money now, but he really did it at a bad time. Really, it's not about the money, but I was hurt that my friend could do something to me and not understand why I was upset. He recently contacted me too. Should I just forgive him and start over, or should I just forget about the friendship?
What are your thoughts? I'm wondering if anyone else feels the same way as me or if I'm just being really mean. It's ok to be honest, I won't be offended! Thank you!
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8 comments:
I've had the same two situations with friends. I'm all for trying to continue a friendship. When I tried to explain the life-sucking relationship to the high maintenance friend she went off on me and we haven't talked since. I doubt she ever has the courage to ever contact me because of some of the things she said.
However, if you ever have the chance to rebuild a friendship it should be attempted. Whether you go for the forgiveness thing straight off or not, it's never a good idea to let a friend go if it can be avoided.
Gosh I could have written this post myself.
I have tried to stay in touch with my best friend of 30 years but it is always me putting in the effort. She moved away and lives about 2 hours from me now but never has made the effort to come and see me.
It is always me that has to go there to see her - I realise she has two beautiful girls but she regularly visits her family who live about 40 mins away from me - surely she could drop in to see me!
I have to say I have now given up - I think to myself what is the point. She doesn't know anything that is happening in my life and why should I waste time trying to keep our friendship going just because we have been friends for so long.
I have a couple of really good friends and have realised that they are better friends!
It depends on what he did exactly.
Though, personally, I believe in removing toxic friends from your life. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good, not people who make you feel crappy.
If the memory of what this guy did still makes you feel crappy, let him go.
You write very well.
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